Covid 19

I'd like to say that for me what I believe deeply is that, "Everything that ever was, ever will be, or is right now, is perfect" and this is a complex belief but rock solid within me for my own reasons. In terms of the virus and of the New World Order/Conspiracy mindedness, I have been, I am and I will continue to ignore it to the best of my ability. I choose to focus my energy upon my life and those I love for I have only so much energy.


Whatever forces there may be, totalitarian, spiritual, whatever, they get my body only not my mind and not my eternal soul. What I will not give to them any longer is FEAR. I have no fear. I don't know why this has happened as I have been fearful all of my life but now I have no fear and believe me, these

mutherfuckers be what they are, they relish our FEAR. They'll starve to death if they have to live off of David B Sky cause I ain't on the menu anymore, Friends

An American Wedding

Our Golem bride, America,  blasphemously wearing white led down the shaky stern of the ship of fools serving as the wedding aisle to a wedding march played with commitment by her father the Wharf Rat who is well over two hundred years old. The groom awaits with arms folded in front of him out on the open deck with Reverend Fear, cloaked head bowed. The groom smiling proudly a toothy smile of perfectly whitened teeth the size of piano keys with this slight tilt to his magnificently square head, his enormous – corn fed! - body dwarfing Reverend Fear.

Anyone paying attention notices he has an actual rocket not quite in his pocket.

Under the sickeningly unnatural light of the apocalypse, the sky roiling in burnt colors of purple, orange and red, lit as if by some unholy fire, the wedding party upon the becalmed ship of fools drifts helplessly  on a sea awash in the color of radiator fluid ebbing inexorably toward the cataracts of the abyss.

When America our Golem bride stands at last before her husband to be, her father the Wharf Rat quiets the keys of his piano.

“America,” Reverend Fear asks in an oddly sepulchral tone - “do you take this ICBM for your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.” America affirms.

“ICBM,” do you take this beautiful Golem Bride for your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” affirms the groom.

Reverend Fear declares, “by the powers vested in me by the State of Fear, I now pronounce you man and wife. ICBM, you may kiss your bride - ”

KA-BOOM!

Amalie - I'll always miss you - c'est la vie

 The first thing I saw was her smile and it made me smile and then I heard her laugh and thought my God there it is the smile set loose so free and clear her laughter is like the winds rustling the boughs of trees like rain pelting the soft earth like birds soaring through strides of sheer, blue sky overhead and when she first threw back her head and laughed that is when my heart left me for her, a minor sin for which he is forgiven since forsaking my chest for hers is what my heart was born to do. It is both my curse and my blessing to know the meanings of things great and small. I saw first that she does not color her hair and that itself spoke volumes to me and stirred me with longings even that first pull of lust for I know the meaning of this thing. Then I saw that she does not wear one shred of make up and knowing the meaning of that, my knees grew weak and I almost hit the ground: my God man she is genuine thoughtlessly, effortlessly, seamlessly genuine from head to toe, from bone to soul. Her love flows without restraint or measure as freely as sunshine pouring down from the heavens above and not just for me but for every living thing and confession that this pulled a little at me for truth be told I am not perfect and I am a selfish man and I would want all that love just for myself but I am cursed with knowing how things work in this world and I so knew that this is her blessing and that God Almighty demands I must share her love with the world no different than sharing the sunlight pouring down from the heavens with every living soul and thankfully for me and thankfully for us all love is that one single thing that knows no measure and abides no containment whatsoever. She is smart enough to go places I go and smart enough to get to some before I do and wise enough to laugh at me sometimes not with me and she takes me out of my head not an easy thing to do and a blessing in itself making me a softer thing, a happier thing, a more joyful thing than I naturally am. She is so good for me. She is sexy and alive and funny and more whole and centered a thing than I am. She did not have to open her heart how that is such a marvel to me for whom it was a seemingly impossible task opening my own heart knowing that her heart just is existing free and clear as her smile and her laughter I am quite certain from the moment of her first breath. She does not have to try to be strong because she is strong. She does not have to try to be feminine because she is feminine. She has known the pains of being a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a woman and I know this is the only down side to having an open heart that these so human pains are multiplied and this I remind myself because some part of me wants to believe that she has never known any pain her whole life long for just thinking of her in any kind of pain is almost more than I can bare. When she is vulnerable I feel like I know for a moment what that love might be like of a parent for their child this love that I have never known in life and my God man what a breathtaking and terrifying love like teetering on the abyss that is as if your heart beats outside your own chest and the very breath you breathe is not quite your own to take. The problem with knowing things is that you can never unknow them but knowing her is without regret, a treasured gift that I will now take with me in measureless gratitude and love into the hallowed halls of eternity.

Believe in Your Heart - metaphysical essay

The average human heart weights in well under one pound, no bigger than your fist, it’s a baby, an infant, this helpless thing, non verbal but as precious as any new born infant you can fold into your chest ever so gently rocking and cooing the reassurances that the very best of humanity can bring to bear. The average beat the heart maintains from first breath to last is the metronome of the universe, make no mistake, not only pumping life’s blood through a hundred thousand miles of arteries, veins and capillaries, but pumping life through all of the vast universe itself – a miraculous and unfathomable thing, the heart. If you listen carefully, quietly, the heart does speak to you and with the exact same metronomic certainty with which it pumps life giving blood throughout the entire universe that is You.

“Everything will not be alright,” says the heart when you do listen, “everything already IS alright. Everything has always been alright,” the heart insists, over and over and over again, “and everything will always be alright – if you believe it”.

The heart finishes so lovingly, so wise for an infant, “and you get to choose what you believe, My Love", the heart assures you, beat after beat after beat - “so why not believe in me”.

Head vs Heart - Comedy

How fearless, how strong, how indomitable, how utterly dauntless is this heart of mine ...

"Raise every mast for full sail!" says Heart.

"Wait ... what! No!" Head is not happy, to say the least, "O man common this will NOT END WELL!!!"

It's okay, I try to reassure Head - you'd think I'd be better at it by now having had soo much practice -

But Head, as usual, is not having it, "But what if there's a storm, what if there are shoals, unforeseen obstacles and problems I mean this is the OCEAN and where the hell are those nautical maps, dammit man, we're in uncharted waters if we don't have nautical maps, for the love of God, Boss THINK about what Heart is DOING!!!"

Shush, Head, just look at the bright side, the sea air blowing our hair, breathe in the salt air isn't it amazing? Take a deep breath - O wow you can taste the salt water. Just breathe! Isn't it a Joy, a Gift to be alive!

"We're going for it" says Heart smiling, in his element now, "if it doesn't end well, this will just be the most perfect disaster EvEr and we'll call it a significant move in the right direction. We came here to ply the seas, right? So if we're not going to sail then what the hell is the point?".

Whoa, that's a long speech from Heart. I guess when you've been broken, battered and defeated in so many places and so many times that finally enough light gets in that you just aren't afraid of the darkness anymore?

Hear that, Head, that's Heart saying put up or shut up - now come on, we got work to do, Head - all hands on deck!

Valentine's Day Love Story

They turn off the lights. The bedroom is dark, still and silent except for their slight rustling settling on the bed before each other, knee to knee. Their hands reach out into the darkness interlocking fingers, each bowing slightly until their foreheads gently touch. Time ceases as breaths synchronize.

"Now?" She asks in the barest whisper

"Please, yes" he whispers back as if not to disturb the stillness enveloping them in this sanctuary.

With a reverence born of a deep and abiding love, respect and appreciation, she releases her long, thin fingers from their entwining with his own and as gently as a moth fanning a stone touches his face. She removes his mask and sets it aside so that it is lost in the darkness and says, "I love you", again, in that barest whisper that seems somehow not to disturb the silence enshrouding them.

He reciprocates now with equal reverence and gentleness reaching out to touch her face with the tips of his fingers, removing her mask and setting it aside as if into the oblivion of the darkness that surrounds them. "I love you" he whispers ever so softly and as his fingertips find the true flesh of her face with the slightest touch, hers find the true flesh of his face.

Like two blind lovers, they see each other with their fingertips, eyes closed, lips slightly parted, breathing becoming heavier, fingers slightly caressing closed eyelids, soft, moist lips, the fleshy lobes of the ear. When finally they do kiss, it starts curiously, uncertainly, with a sense of revelation for neither has kissed before without their mask on but quickly the kiss intensifies into a kind of fire like flame consuming flame and their bodies embrace in one long bodily conflagration of passion

Heartbreak

A thousand times a day I felt you slip away The way you spoke The way you moved Texts you did or didn't make That way you looked away A thousand times a ...

a thousand times a day ...

..

day