I have become a vagabond
of body, mind and soul not exactly by choice but definitely with
collusion. There is always this knowing that the others would not
understand even if I thought I could articulate what it is that I am
“doing” with my life. It seems so very much as if I am doing
nothing but the truth of the matter is entirely the opposite of its
appearance for the truth of the matter is that in fact what I am
doing is nothing.
See, that's the best I
can do? My life's work is obscure even to me.
I now understand how this
rather bizarre life course I follow could have come to be - this
“mushroom path” that came only after that food of the gods turned
everything forever inside out. This path actually has nothing to do
with mushrooms at this point having been a spiritual catalyst and in
fact it is no path at all. It is not to be found on the ground. There
are no visible signs for it. This path is the following of my own
heart literally over my own head. So when I assess this world I do
not think about it so much as feel about it. The feeling I think is
like some kind of radar sensing system and any thoughts spring from
the feeling state reaction to the environment and the thoughts are
verbal articulation of the feeling state, if that makes any sense? So
following the mushroom path is about disconnecting myself from all
human systems physical, mental, emotional, religious and so on even
ever so much as I can from the intellectual. Surely, it sounds like
insanity to some? But being right is way down upon my list of desires
in this life. I just don't really care about this so called reality
or most of it no more so than I really care about football.
Phenomenology is the philosophy that comes to mind and it is a hard
one for thinkers but comes naturally for feelers as each thing is
taken for how it feels at the moment so that's approaching everything
from about as little in the way of preconceived notions as one can, I
think?
This is why when the
folks wave their flags and cheer their favorite candidate it has no
more meaning to me than a reality TV show, maybe less, for instance,
I love Les on Survivorman. He kills me. While I have zero interest in
American politics and actually do not believe in “America”
because I know that it is merely a holographic image this whole
Norman Rockwell “America” is merely a mask covering the face of a
monstrous beast. I cannot by fooled by the crude illusions of this
world. But this world is merely one detail only a blip on the radar
of the universe, one passing thought in the Mind of God, not
something that really matters like love or any other thing precious
to my heart like the reflection of a lake in a dragonfly's eye.
So I'll follow the
mushroom path and my deepest feeling in life is that everyone is
feeling, thinking and doing exactly what they are suppose to be
feeling, thinking and doing and literally require no input from me. I
just am trying to articulate my own place in it all. Follow Jesus or
Buddha, Hillary or Trump, whatever one is drawn to do is my strong
suspicion exactly what is right for one to do no matter how it may
effect me even. My only faith is that everything – everything! -
happens for a reason known only to the Mind of God to which I am not
entirely privy for whatever reason. The way the mushrooms put it
is, “everything that ever was, is right now or will be, is
perfect”. I think of it as "the wolves eating the caribou alive conundrum" since logically I admit that I cannot fathom how for the caribou being eaten alive is in any way "perfect" - so I guess this one constitutes a "Belief" which I do try to keep to an absolute minimum but O well no one is perfect.
They also said, “the
only power you possess is the power to love” - meaning that all
other power no matter how “real” it may seem is an illusion.This one I feel like I understand just fine doesn't require belief. Love here being used as a verb, of course.
