Metaphysical Essay by David Sky
(I don’t believe in anything. I only believe in everything.)
The two challenges left for me with now only nine days to not overcome them rather to integrate them are clear to me. Both are equal so it is not possible to say exactly, “one” and “two”. This is a lesson in itself. This reality that is a subset of the greater reality is the reality in which there is sequence. Only here on this side of the veil do so many perceive love as a finite thing such that you may love one more than another or must exclude one in favor of another. (The way this was presented to me was “one does not have to die so that another may live” referring not to the death of the body but to the death of a concept in order to make a space for a seemingly conflicting concept) Here I do not speak of threesomes, just to be clear. Love is the only limitless thing in this physical reality which is real only not the only real that there is? I say this to remind myself and strengthen my own resolve to overcome Cognitive Dissonance yet another peculiarity of this physical reality we find ourselves in for now. If one were to think that I am merely speaking to myself all the time than you would not be wrong. I am because I am you. Another peculiarity of this subset of the greater reality is a nearly inescapable notion of separateness. A good hit of acid or a handful of musky mushrooms shatters that illusion. I say this again to bolster myself for the task at hand which is not an easy task just as all the most important tasks come upon along this mystical path have not been easy.
Perhaps my deepest, most innate instinct spiritually speaking is to wring the meaning out of everything – everything. I do not lament it for this is what I am and now more than ever in my life I can only love and appreciate what I am. Only it is time to bring the energy of this instinct into a much more balance and harmonious state within myself. This is what makes it so hard for me to experience joy as what happens is that I squeeze the very life out of things with this scrutiny. To accomplish such a task involves first recognition then intention and in this particular case because the task is so daunting and so vital also visualization in a meditative state. Here the visualization is crucial to success, I feel. The visualization is what I call an “act of magic” calling it magic because whatever else I may call it is both unbearably pretentious to my ear as well as being infused with nuance that I do not intend to convey and my intent in this writing is to communicate or connect with The Others. (Similarly, I am loath to use such highly abstract nouns as “God” for the word causes a cascade in the minds of others that often, I feel, diverges vastly from what I am trying to convey. No problem with that for there are as many paths to the mountain top as there are climbers only it is not conducive to true communication) Magic to me is simply any action taken that has a strong intention behind it that brings more meaning to the action than itself – such as tossing a penny into a wishing well and making a wish. That is an act of magic. This act is visualization as is the other act for these two integrations that are upon me now. In some cases, the magic would require some physical act or an icon of some kind but here I feel visualization is what is needed. Nine days may seem a short time but it is a very long time when the mind is focused and the heart is still.
This is a simple one: my right hand at my side as if walking just hanging loosely and I make it into a tight fist, very tight, as if it is necessary to sucker punch someone much larger so I make it as tight and hard as I can and then I simply loosen the first and shake it out. As I visualize this I am thinking, “Easy now, relax, just love what is and let it be”. If I were to feel the need, the physical act of magic would be to actually make that fist with my right hand. But I do not choose to do so partly because doing that hurts due to my physical disability. And I am no longer in the business of hurting myself having closed that shop some time ago. The truth of things is always simple.
The other task equally as difficult and equally as important to me is to now fully come together bringing the far flung elements of myself deliberately dissociated in order to get to this perfect place which is to say in order to get to her. I know The Universe’s way and that in order to get to her I would have to perfect myself ever so much as be possible for me to do. Not perfection. That is ridiculous. But what amounts to stepping firmly into the stream of eternity which is in fact my own personal destiny. There is room in this for error for it is as if you do not have to immerse your entire body in the stream but only must get some part in like tagging home plate with merely a sliver of your toe makes your run count in baseball? I understood that to find my soulmate this was the only way and to be clear as a spiritual goal it also dovetails perfectly with my own personal ambitions at the highest levels. But of course it would, you may be thinking: probably not actually but if you are than we are already the very best of friends. The visualization for this involves flying a plane and the plane is buffeted by winds, shifting up and down violently, and wings dipping alarmingly this way and that way as in the visualization I bring the plane into a perfectly directed state – balanced and harmonious flight. This vision was given to me as was the clenching and unclenching of my fist. My thought in this visualization is simply, “come together now”. I listen to the Beatles song, “Come Together” while relaxing meditatively simply lying down with eyes closed.
In this way I make the final preparations for the last journey of my life to my first home.
I do not know who to properly thank so I thank all things of all times. To be sure, this meditation is suffused in white light and gratitude beyond gratitude for what I have been given here is the world.
