Voice Phenomenon - very interested to hear (no pun intended) other experiences with this?
I read somewhere once that full auditory hallucination happens more with lower doses and that certainly was true for me happening three times all on fairly low dosage as I was titrating up at the beginning of my own work with psilocybin for healing. These three episodes happening on three consecutive weekends.
1) Three grams dried cubensis on a Sunday mid day alone my two bedroom rambler. It was a late fall day and fairly warm so I recall right after actually eating the three grams going all through the house and opening all the windows to let in as much fresh air as possible. (I stayed inside wasn't sure how I would be reacting and in a fairly conservative suburban neighborhood in the city - this was my first try with them) Sitting down in chair kicked back just in quiet, I felt them coming on and thought it felt like I recalled LSD trips coming on many years earlier when I had tripped a lot in my youth. It felt like a roller coasting easing up to the very top just before cascading down the big run and suddenly with eyes closed I had a vision of myself as if looking down from above watching a videotape of myself going through the house a few minutes earlier opening all the windows and as I am seeing this, a voice as if someone sitting right next to me says clearly, "you inhabit your body the way your body inhabits this house" ... and that was it and I felt myself come right down as if the roller coaster had come to the bottom and just stopped - time to get out.
It seemed as if that is all that this experience was meant to "do" for me?
2) The next weekend similar as above same chair quiet Sunday mid-morning this time 3.2 grams and similar feeling going up with a sense of peaking in fact thought, "O here we go" just a strong sense that "this is it" and again I hear plain and clear as if someone were sitting right next to me, "Light is God". I should note here that I kind of interpreted this "statement" in a manner that would become common later when another type of voice phenomena kicked in. Somehow I "knew" that what (they) meant was, "the closest thing to what you humans think of as a 'God', is light". Again, a quick almost complete comedown again as if this was the "point" of the whole experience. This also while I didn't realize it at the time introduced me to the later form of voice phenomenon that lasted for months without even taking psilocybin in the manner of the voice being very succinct need me to fill out the full meaning, often. I should note that in all case the voice/s (never was clear if singular or plural) were alien to me and not something arising from my own unconscious.
3) The very next weekend, same set, now 3.6 grams and as this comes on feels considerably stronger than before and I have clear sense that this will "do it" - although, must admit that was not quite clear what "doing it" would entail? To be clear, I was not expecting to hear a voice with this at all and in this case even though I had heard this voice the past two times, still was not expecting that to happen. But I hear that same voice again clear as if someone were sitting right next to me say, "you haven't crossed over yet" and again that strange sense of starting to peak then just coming right down but this time I am smiling from ear to ear and thinking, "YES! So you CAN cross over!" and I felt ecstatic with hope. Unfortunately, due to some problems in the grow room, as it were, I was out of ammo and went on to have several more "crop failures" so that it was a couple months before I could continue my efforts.
These were the only times I heard any kind of auditory hallucination. After my breakthrough experience with five grams, I went into a state of mania lasting five days during which time I did not sleep at all. By the end of these five days, as you might imagine - working long hours the whole time this being Monday through Friday - I was getting pretty punchy. I did lay down for three hours and quiet my mind as best I could each night laying in a kind of light meditative state. This whole time I had a strange feeling in the left top side of my head with a feeling as if a beam of energy were constantly beaming into my head right there. It was a visceral feeling and at times was like I could almost hear a sizzling sound. I was sitting at my desk in despair on Friday evening having told no one about this having done it all alone for security reasons with my head in my hands thinking, "holy fuck I have broke my fucking head, man. I really did it. What the hell is going ON HERE!?"
Then a thought "spoke" to me in my head but this was like nothing that had ever happened to me before I can tell you that. I like to think that I was a reasonably intelligent and sane person if having been suffering from severe depression for most of my adult life now 47. All I can say is this "thought" was clearly not my own thought. It seemed clearly to come from the same source as the auditory voice I had heard months earlier on the lower dosages. It seemed to be responding to my heartfelt head in hands question as to what the hell was going on with me since this trip by stating, "I am the New Creature. I am here to save the biosphere".
Mother of God was something of my response to this. Then nothing else I had no idea what this meant but afterward for months a thought-voice in my mind interacted with me only one other time making what I would call a universal statement like this one but otherwise directing itself to my personal emotional and spiritual growth constantly interacting with me and my own thoughts in the most loving, compassionate, wise manner I could imagine showing me more love than I had ever experienced in my entire life and helping me over this time become my own friend within the confines of my mind instead of my worst detractor.
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