Interview with a Searcher

He finally granted me access at his home on a Sunday afternoon. We sit in his den a cozy place with wall to wall books of a most eclectic nature. I notice sandwiched between an ancient looking hardback of War and Peace and a Moosewood Cook Book is a thin volume titled, “How to Find the G Spot”, as an actual example. 

Outside are low, heavy clouds and in his study's only light is natural from a few high, small, square windows letting in a diffuse, winter afternoon glow.

Why should I talk to you, he asks me evenly.

I will tell your story accurately, faithfully, I tell him truly. You have my complete discretion.

He leans forward all 6' 5” of him,  his long arms and long legs looking awkward when he sits like he's all knees and elbows – listen, this is serious work,  volunteer work as it may be, there is little of more importance – do you understand?

I return his sustained eye contact assuring him sincerely that he has my utmost respect. Just tell me what you do, I ask. 

Well, what you do is go find them. Simple as that. I focus on the task at hand and by that I mean that I not only look, I see; I not only listen, I hear. I become a receiver - do you know what that means?

No, tell me?

It means I'm receiving not transmitting.

Not sure I understand how that works?

Mind is blank, he says, seeming to relax just a little sitting back in his chair and sort of untangling himself, continuing, mind is blank, breathing controlled, pace deliberate, sustainable, the awareness focused upon reading the terrain always trying to grasp the big picture too, you know, that is important. Where am I on this earth? The first rule of the search is never get lost yourself. So many decisions to be made in terms of directions all constantly interacting with inner hunches. It is a state of complete commitment on every level.

Is it hard, I ask, I mean isn't it dangerous, isn't it lonely out there in the wilderness like that?

Not up until you get the all clear from base meaning either the search has been called off or the person was found. Before that, you're too focused.  It's afterward's it can get real. Maybe by then you realize that you pushed it too far this time. Maybe this time you don't get back. You start thinking a little wildly. Yea it's lonely. Maybe you start with that  what's it All About Alfie stuff going around in your head. But you push on through because you know down in your toes that it's not just about you. It's about this other, you know - this other that is out there somewhere who needs you to find them. So no matter what, I dust myself off, do whatever I need to do so I can be ready for the search.