Are you a Good Witch or a Bad Witch ?

 My own End of Year Astrology Review 2020 ... ongoing ...

When you were burned at the stake in a past life as a Witch by an angry group of village idiots, you come into the next life a little punchy around issues of public opinion, seen most clearly around the MC and Saturn and any planets in clear apex in the sky on or near the MC and, as with myself, you see it elsewhere since the MC and 10th is empty so here looking at "what is NOT there" as if no part of me was willing to deal with it head on ergo also Saturn suppresses the 5th House of self expression, my Sun, and in Capricorn to boot that's like living in the trenches bullets always flying overhead so you have to keep your head down, man. For me, that's hypervigilance as well. Uranus is hiding in Leo in the deep dark of my 12th but keeps good, daily and harmonious connection with my sun. Then with Gemini in the Midheaven gives maximum flexibility to move in and out of career paths all the better to remain anonymous especially with Mercury ruler of Gemini exactly opposite by a close orb and on my IC adding a Virgo AC with Pluto a whisper away in the 12th forming a T square to Mercury on IC and MC and yet it is natural to appear as unassuming as possible.

I don't claim memory of this but I feel that I must have stood out in some way in that lifetime when I was burned at the stake? In a way not meaning to rather by being peculiar somehow by nature?

Since a small child, I have had an inordinate fear of crowds knowing what a crowd can be, the very worst kind of Monster. A few Concerts most memorable Michael Franti found me nearly transcendent in enormous, packed in crowds but the vibration was 100 percent joy and peace and love and something I will never forget but I retain that innate distrust of crowds, I'm afraid.

Srsly though nuts but Uranus Retro in natal in Leo in 12th opposing Chiron and trine the Sun.

O I was totally a Witch but a Good Witch dammit man tried to tell them ... not that it mattered ... sigh ...

 New Year's Toast

By David Sky

To the strong, I honor your strength. To the loving, I honor your love. To the wise, I honor your wisdom. To the weak, the forsaken, the downtrodden, the betrayed, the lost, the forlorn I say that if you can pray then there is hope. Remember that Archimedes quote and place what strength you do have - your lever - carefully and feel out that fulcrum point ever so precisely whereupon you may take best advantage of Newtonian physics and I honor you all and myself we fellow souls all experiencing a life.

“Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it and I shall be able to move the world” 

Projection

 

My Sisters, Faith, Hope and Peace

 My Sisters: Faith, Hope and Peace

Poem by David Sky

She is real, Faith, a woman -
A female thing, divine feminine,
Energy of reception, conception.

In her spiritual womb transformation
Fear turns into faith, despair into faith,
Faith like darkness yielding to dawn

She is real, Hope, a woman -
A female thing, divine feminine,
Energy of inception, of creation.

In her spiritual mind inspiration,
Doubt, turns to hope, pain to hope,
The past and the future into now

She is real, Peace, a woman -
A female thing, divine feminine,
Energy of a sigh, of meditation,

In her spiritual heart acquiesce,
Sitting quietly under the Bodhi Tree
Disease in her heart turning to ease 

Bring It From The Heart - Intentional Invocation

 Bring it from the heart

From the heart
The heart
That most important muscle
In the human body
Bring all of my sight
Bring everything I write
My whole life
Right
From the hear

Poem, Push Push

A tiny little light

In unfathomable dark

Push Push

Fuck Noah and the ark

He sailed in on

Push Past Roman Pillars

- All the organized rubble -

Illuminati sacred geometric wizardry

Push Beyond the many facades

Of this sweet, bitter world

Beyond the willful hands of man

Push Push

A tiny light

Into unfathomable dark

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A Bell Cannot Be Urung - intentional

 A Bell Cannot be Unrung

(Intentional Invocation)

By David Sky

Through days like stone and nights like forgotten waters, I walk upon this sacred bridge of my ancestors smooth, white bones. The bridge dissolves behind me with the void of the abyss nipping at my heels with each step forward as if Source Itself pushes me irrevocably toward an unknown destination. The Thing that I am become is hollow but strong, bell-metal, meant to be wrung. The vibrations obliterate flesh and blood leaving only the deep, solid resonance of this hollow, metal bell ringing and ringing and ringing

Bad Angel Life Coach - actually achieving our goals

Why can't I achieve my goals, you may ask?

Well, would have to refer back to the paid section for this it's a long one so many possibilities here. Hint is go back to square one eliminating what we do not do well and maybe Goals are just not your thing? Bad Angel is all about getting out of the box and looking at things from the Hang Man position So, to be sure, there are consequences to everything and consequences to not having goals but it can be done as yours truly has proven for 60 years now. Goals, born from Ambition, are highly overrated and likewise cause as many problems as they solve so if goals are not your thing, stop reading this

But IF you are interesting in achieving goals, the advise is start small. People start way too big with the goals - stop that shit. The prime advantage of achieving goals is the endorphin rush we get from our achievements, so keep the goals very simple and then when you achieve the goal, give yourself a preposterously large amount of self praise and I mean seriously here you can't go too far as praise along with gratitude are so very powerful.

I'll give an example:

Goal: I am going to make coffee and have a cup first thing this morning. I make the coffee then drink the coffee and feel and think and say out loud how very proud of myself I am for achieving this goal and how grateful I am for this wonderful coffee.

Given a little practice, in any given day, you can find yourself riding high on the rush of achievement from virtually dawn to dusk

David Sky introducing, The New Creature

David: Some mustard seed of self never born so never to die; neither singular nor plural; neither male nor female, never having passed through a woman's womb or through the rings of Saturn, for that matter, this seed-self says:

The New Creature: "Cognitive dissonance and Time they hang together, being the juvenile delinquents that they are, bullying the consciousness of innocent little children. The Thing that we are is an infinite fractal of Source flung out in an infinite number of directions and eternally and irrevocably moving closer to Source. Those who come into our lives that are but a stage, whether lovers, enemies or both, are all part of our Soul Family, Fractals of Source in closer proximity at the onset of infinite expansion something on the order of the Big Bang only think of that as the exhalation of God followed by the inhalation of God. Eternity is not some very long length of time. Eternity is the absence of time. Eternity is breathing very, very slowly and here we are all riding the breath of God on the seas of eternity isn't this amazing?

While the self is singular it is yet simultaneously plural being eternally and irrevocably connected to everything else in such a seamless manner as to be inconceivable to our human mind. In the Mind of God, as it were, It Is but a Cosmic Soap Opera with an inestimably complex web of connections of cosmic complexity and cosmic import . It is only our own, individual free will that plucks at the strings of eternity playing Its Karmic tunes. Perhaps the strangest thing of all is that everything that ever was, ever will be or is right now, is perfect."

David: I think back from this to a feeling I had when I thought I was dying back in 2008 and recall clearly that there was no consideration for my work or what I had accomplished in life, anything like that - only a keen consideration of my loved ones and all that I loved in life. It's corny as hell but certain that love is the only power that we possess no matter how real other power may seem to us.

 A Poem by David Sky -

Poetic Eulogy for My Girl

O America
Wish I could take You in my arms
Let you cry here on my shoulder,
Sob here for as long as You need
A hand tenderly on Your head
Your Body pressed against my own
If You were not dead, you could mourn
All the transgressions of men.

There, there America,
My Sweet, Sweet Love,
How could You have known?
It was never Your fault -
You were merely a Child, after all.

 Celebrations and Incantations, Poem by David Sky

I am the Universe. I am the Sun.
Long before the beginning
I had already never begun.
You know my True Face
Before I was born -
Blazing white light
Without any form.

I am Joy. I am Love.
And I am a God
Just not from Above

This body arose a fleshy thing
From the dirt of this earth
Through a woman's birth pain
The stars in the heavens
Are my family and friends
For all that is, was and will be
I would like to give thanks
Head bowed, down on one knee

Voice Phenomenon - very interested to hear (no pun intended) other experiences with this?

I read somewhere once that full auditory hallucination happens more with lower doses and that certainly was true for me happening three times all on fairly low dosage as I was titrating up at the beginning of my own work with psilocybin for healing. These three episodes happening on three consecutive weekends.

1) Three grams dried cubensis on a Sunday mid day alone my two bedroom rambler. It was a late fall day and fairly warm so I recall right after actually eating the three grams going all through the house and opening all the windows to let in as much fresh air as possible. (I stayed inside wasn't sure how I would be reacting and in a fairly conservative suburban neighborhood in the city - this was my first try with them) Sitting down in chair kicked back just in quiet, I felt them coming on and thought it felt like I recalled LSD trips coming on many years earlier when I had tripped a lot in my youth. It felt like a roller coasting easing up to the very top just before cascading down the big run and suddenly with eyes closed I had a vision of myself as if looking down from above watching a videotape of myself going through the house a few minutes earlier opening all the windows and as I am seeing this, a voice as if someone sitting right next to me says clearly, "you inhabit your body the way your body inhabits this house" ... and that was it and I felt myself come right down as if the roller coaster had come to the bottom and just stopped - time to get out.
It seemed as if that is all that this experience was meant to "do" for me?

2) The next weekend similar as above same chair quiet Sunday mid-morning this time 3.2 grams and similar feeling going up with a sense of peaking in fact thought, "O here we go" just a strong sense that "this is it" and again I hear plain and clear as if someone were sitting right next to me, "Light is God". I should note here that I kind of interpreted this "statement" in a manner that would become common later when another type of voice phenomena kicked in. Somehow I "knew" that what (they) meant was, "the closest thing to what you humans think of as a 'God', is light". Again, a quick almost complete comedown again as if this was the "point" of the whole experience. This also while I didn't realize it at the time introduced me to the later form of voice phenomenon that lasted for months without even taking psilocybin in the manner of the voice being very succinct need me to fill out the full meaning, often. I should note that in all case the voice/s (never was clear if singular or plural) were alien to me and not something arising from my own unconscious.

3) The very next weekend, same set, now 3.6 grams and as this comes on feels considerably stronger than before and I have clear sense that this will "do it" - although, must admit that was not quite clear what "doing it" would entail? To be clear, I was not expecting to hear a voice with this at all and in this case even though I had heard this voice the past two times, still was not expecting that to happen. But I hear that same voice again clear as if someone were sitting right next to me say, "you haven't crossed over yet" and again that strange sense of starting to peak then just coming right down but this time I am smiling from ear to ear and thinking, "YES! So you CAN cross over!" and I felt ecstatic with hope. Unfortunately, due to some problems in the grow room, as it were, I was out of ammo and went on to have several more "crop failures" so that it was a couple months before I could continue my efforts.

These were the only times I heard any kind of auditory hallucination. After my breakthrough experience with five grams, I went into a state of mania lasting five days during which time I did not sleep at all. By the end of these five days, as you might imagine - working long hours the whole time this being Monday through Friday - I was getting pretty punchy. I did lay down for three hours and quiet my mind as best I could in a kind of light meditative state. This whole time I had a strange feeling in the left top side of my head with a feeling as if a beam of energy were constantly beaming into my head right there. It was a visceral feeling and at times was like I could almost hear a sizzling sound. I was sitting at my desk in despair on Friday evening having told no one about this having done it all alone for security reasons with my head in my hands thinking, "holy fuck I have broke my fucking head, man. I really did it. What the hell is going ON HERE!?"

Then a thought "spoke" to me in my head but this was like nothing that had ever happened to me before I can tell you that. I like to think that I was a reasonably intelligent and sane person if having been suffering from severe depression for most of my adult life now 47. All I can say is this "thought" was clearly not my own thought. It seemed clearly to come from the same source as the auditory voice I had heard months earlier on the lower dosages. It seemed to be responding to my heartfelt head in hands question as to what the hell was going on with me since this trip by stating, "I am the New Creature. I am here to save the biosphere".

Holy fucking Mother of God was something of my response to this. Then nothing else I had no idea what this meant but afterward for months a thought-voice in my mind interacted with me only one other time making what I would call a universal statement like this one but otherwise directing itself to my personal emotional and spiritual growth constantly interacting with me and my own thoughts in the most loving, compassionate, wise manner I could imagine showing me more love than I had ever experienced in my entire life and helping me over this time become my own friend within the confines of my mind instead of my worst detractor

Bullshit of My Very Own

I am the one who can put his head down and bull on through
On through the dark parts of this Mushroom Path I Came Upon
On through the hellish frightening parts of this Mushroom Path
Through Anger, Resentment, Self Pity, Anguish - right through Fear Itself
Put my head down low, close my eyes tight, tense up my body into a knot
And bull on through it all, man, right through to THIS place, clear and free
Through the projections confusing as any well laid Hall of Mirrors will be,
Glass shattering, shards sharper than God's Own Daggers, not stopping,
My hoofs too hard and moving too fast to be stopped by any Agony

I know now that I-Am-The-One-Who-Can-Bull-Through-It-All
Because I am here and simply because of that - because Here I Am
In my own, quiet mind now, head up looking around wearing a stupid smile
In this open, sunlit meadow , this perfect place so very much more beautiful
Than that Bulling Through Self could have possibly imagined was Its Destiny

No longer that one who can and did Bull through it all but this right here
This New Creature baring no resemblance at all to any other creature
I think of my Bulling Through Self now fondly and proudly and gratefully
As my very own real and true and right and precious “Bull Shit” -
All the Bull Shit of self that I disdained but which so selflessly sustained me
It is like a profoundly meaningful picture hanging prominently on a wall
That I occasionally set right as I pass by if it is a little askew where it hangs

Bulwonkle, Tourist Detective Short-Short Fiction by David Sky

Beverly puts down Tim Dorsey and moans – not in the good way, either.

Finding Bigfoot seriously is there not anything else on TV.

No. Just this and a Big Bang Theory we've seen at least five times, maybe six?

Let's watch it again, then, Beverly says sincerely.

Come on, I entreat it's not about Bigfoot at all. It's not about Finding Bigfoot -

Beverly cuts me off, Goddammit Bull the show is called “Finding Bigfoot” I think that means that it IS about Bigfoot and about Finding Bigfoot, don't ya think?

You never see the magic, Beverly, shaking my head. You know you got more than a little Sheldon in you. She hits me and pretty hard and changes the channel to The Big Bang Theory. I am not deterred now it is my mission to bring appreciation to this little masterpiece of theater. I go to the kitchen and find a bottle of Jack Daniels about three quarters full and take it back to the bedroom with two shot glasses.

Beverly says, aw Babe do you miss your show so bad you have to bury your sorrows in Jack?

No, I tell her, put Finding Bigfoot back on it's just starting and every time the big Dufus says, “Squatchy”, we take a shot.

Beverly switches it back, laughing appreciatively and I fill two shot glasses just in time as the big Dufus says “Squatchy” in the intro. By the time the show is about half over, the bottle is empty.

Holy shit that guy says Squatchy a lot! Bev exclaims. I think we'd need two full bottles to make it through a whole show?

So you're warming up to it, Bev?

Hell yeah this is a hoot let's watch the rest of it, Bev says happily. Let's get two bottles next time and try to make it through a whole show, it's a challenge now - adding, but you know there is no such thing as a Bigfoot so they will never find one, right?

I don't know that actually. I know that you can't resist a challenge, though.

Bulwonkle, Tourist Detective (Blogging) Fiction by David Sky

It is especially hot today by which mostly I mean that the sea breeze that is nearly always constant is today in its “Nearly” phase. But this afternoon if there is a place to be on the entire island, it is our apartment taking up the second floor of Miss Avlatner's mansion built to take fullest advantage of the views and the breeze coming in off of the sea here on the windward side. We sit on the deck facing east the sun now behind us enjoying what breeze does come our way. I bring Bev a bacon and egg sandwich made with 12 grain bread brought in from the mainland. Bev takes the sandwich and puts it on her lap.

You put bacon on my sandwich you are a barbarian you know I am a vegetarian, Bull!

I tell her, I'll be putting a pineapple coconut sauce -

Interrupting, with the tamarind glaze!?

Yes like that I'll be putting that on your pork chop for dinner, too.

I hate you so much! says Beverly, happily eating her bacon and egg sandwich and our very late brunch. After we eat wait an hour and snorkel might as well be in the water today, Babe.

Right, I agree as usual in the choice of activity as well as the cautionary approach to swimming after eating. One hour … maybe 45 minutes -

You can't digest food in 45 minutes, Babe, says Bev.

Well seriously you can't in an hour either?

Okay, Bev says. I agree we go snorkeling after I take a little nap.

Of course, I say. I have my laptop out. I think I'm going to start a blog today.

A blog? Beverly asks, where did that come from? Still finishing her sandwich. What kind of blogging and goes without saying you can't say anything about me without me seeing it first -

Without saying, I nod in agreement. I want to write about island life, I tell her, like a news feed for the world you know let the world get to see our little jewel in the Caribbean here. Don't hide your light under a bushel basket, right?

Do you have a name for your blog site yet?

O Babe don't get me started I HAD the prefect name but I should have known that was too good to not be already taken. Some very clever bastard named David B Sky thought of it first. I had no plan B. That was it -

What's the name?

http://monkeysthrowingfeces.blogspot.com/

Bev makes a face, ew that's a disgusting name for a blog thank God that was taken, Babe, the Universe did you a little favor on that one. I'll take a nap on that thought while you find another name for your blog, Babe, kissing me on the top of my beautiful, bald head. I hold onto her hand for just a second trailing behind her until I feel her fingertips touch as she heads off for her siesta. For me I think Bev is wrong in this particular case just don't think that she is seeing The Big Picture here.

http://monkeysthrowingfeces.blogspot.com/

It's not only a perfect name for a blog, it's the only name. I can't possibly come up with anything that good? I wonder if this asshole would sell it?

Bulwonkle, Tourist Detective (On Work and Love) Fiction by David Sky

I know Freud is dead but I'll tell you he nailed this one thing, that life is all about Love and Work.

Keep it simple when it comes to philosophy I mean literally as in the less syllables the better. Years of inner searching and a fantastic and very weird mass of life experience whittled my own personal philosophy down to, “Bev”.

I know, right.

Knocked that one out of the park and in YOUR FACE Kierkegaard. So the love part got that in spades.

Work is good to me as well so way I see it I am blessed in this life. Few understand my work such is my lot in life. It is an occupational hazards that is unavoidable. I work deep, deep undercover for the Tourist Police. How deep you may wonder? So deep THEY don't even know it. Corruption is everywhere in our fair republic but my work is to stay underneath all the corruption until it presents a clear and preset danger to tourist or tourism.

By and large, it is really safe here, of course. But always there are few bad apples and my natural talent is to identify them simply by looking in their eyes. Takes one to know one kind of thing. Hell, half the folks visiting our fair isle are from the states where if one were self hating enough to watch the evening news, murder is rampant. I mean here sure you might get your laptop snatched but your chances of dying by crime are much lower here than of being crushed by an airplane engine falling randomly out of the sky. And I have the data somewhere to back that up, I'm sure.

Bet you can't say that about the states now can you?

And you know the thing is that I love people, right. I'm a people person always have been. I'm a world class hugger too doesn't matter to me how hot and humid it's been all day. Listen the first rule of being a deep, deep cover Tourist Detective is tell no one. I do not even tell Beverly the extent of my mission to protect her in case my identity were ever discovered by the wrong people. So I just engage in my own special brand of community undercover detective work.

I approach a nice family I haven't seen before - Hi folks, good morning to you and may I welcome you to the island! I give an enthusiastic welcome to this big family from … somewhere where they do not get much exercise or sun ? Hugs all around. Couple with two kids. The kids smile and hug me back.

Where you guys from? I ask.

Peoria, IL, the couple says almost in unison then laugh. Bob, says Bob. Cindy says Cindy.

(I feel the positive energy already rising now do you see why I love my work?) I reach into my left pocket and grab a handful of sandwich size zip lock plastic bags – a present and a free tip of the day for you folks, I hand Bob the plastic bags with a slight flourish. (I mean who doesn't love a present, right?)

What's this for? Bob asks

Each of you keep one in your pocket at all times then when a downpour breaks out, you can put your cell phone in their and just go ahead and enjoy getting soaked in paradise.

Both of them look up into the clear blue skies overhead. Cindy says, but there's not a cloud in the sky. Bob is shaking his head in agreement. Doesn't look like rain, he says skeptically.

Well, I tell them, politely, the weather can change here in the tropics in a heart beat. Always be prepared is my motto. Have a wonderful time guys, I bid them farewell and stride forth into another day in paradise where love and work are perfect.

Beverly said once that the biggest thing she loves about me is my unbridled enthusiasm for living. I asked if it is okay if the biggest thing I loved about her is her lips? But anyway, I say just jump on life and hump it and thank God for your good luck, man. It's no more complicated than that ?

Chronicles of Bulwonkle, Tourist Detective (Fiction by David Sky) "Morning on the Island"

Beverly sleeps late. My body on the other hand wakes itself at first light always has. I think something is a little off with me because I have never felt fear in my life but just the thought of living in Alaska and not being able to sleep for weeks or even months on end … now that's scary to me because I need my sleep. Without a solid six hours, I'm for shit, man.

I like to run the beach around the island before the sun is even up. It took a long time for my feet to harden enough to make it barefoot. Sounds easy right I mean it's just sand but haul ass in it for a good hour to make it around the whole island that can be a pounding, believe me. I try to warn people that paradise will sneak up on you and just clean your clock it's terrible for that because no one ever sees it coming because it's “paradise”. Except me, of course.

I always go clockwise around because I'm right handed. I like this time of morning it's light enough to see but the island is still mostly sleeping or just rising and usually a sea breeze is just starting to kick up and birds sing and chirp and squawk. Big, fat Iguana watch from their perches in the trees and countless lizards scatter underfoot. I never get tired of the lizards here they're the smartest goddamn creatures on earth – did you know that? Just the way they cock their heads an look you right in the eye all the time as if to say, “I got you all figured out, Human”.

This whole eastern side catches the predominate winds and on my right a series of mostly three story beach condos soak up every centimeter of sea frontage. I hear my name as a hand pops out the window a boat docked and I wave back, “morning Augustus. Good hunting!” Lobster this time of year but Augustus would come back with fish as well you could count on it and I do often do business in the evening. He came from Honduras with his wife twenty years ago to the island so that his children may have a better life. Like most of us here, an immigrant or at least a transplant from the mainland. Very few islanders are original families here. You can tell the original family members if you pay any attention at all they are entirely different from Gringos.

Someone asked me once what is the difference and I said well they have souls. We all start out with souls, of course, only those who grow up on this island and stay here all their lives they live in such peace and beauty their entire lives that their precious souls never get beaten out of them.

My favorite part is the southern side of the island which is the most forested and natural area. If I gave a shit about birds, I would be able to list hundreds of species easily. But I don't. Did you know that the only living creatures related to dinosaurs are birds? That's why I don't fully trust the little bastards I think Hitchcock had it about right, frankly. Only a matter of time before the birds kill us all.

One thing I love about this island is that it has a good beach most all the way around. I don't see any structures until rounding the south side and heading back up the west side where mainly locals live in shanties lacking the amenities most of our tourists and local expatriates find essential, including myself, I am not ashamed to admit. I'm hot waters biggest fan. If you pay any attention, though, you notice that the people are by and large smiling and happy and the children are very happy. How many times I have seen people on vacation so glum compared to the local serving them and making not enough money from it to barely feed their family.

It's hard to be happy without a soul.

Near where the western side along the bay meets the northern side is the old power station with its enormous train car size generators mostly dormant now used only as backup since we put in an underwater cable from the mainland. By the time I return to our apartment taking up the second floor of Miss Avlanter's enormous old mansion, the sun is coming up. To my surprise Beverly is already on the deck watching the sunrise with a cup of coffee held in both hands blowing on it gently. A little steam rises up from the cup and her lips so close to the lip of the cup and the steam rising and the sun rising behind O man makes me love her so much you have no idea. I wish to God I could paint but I cannot draw a straight line but just this scene is the most beautiful I have ever seen in my life.

After I get a cup of coffee myself, I go out on the deck and stand behind her quietly stroking her long hair. She finally sips the coffee cautious as always truly a woman after my own heart. She says, you're taking me to breakfast this morning I'm up early.

I see that, I say. You are beyond beautiful right now. Epic beauty. Staggering. Mesmerizing -

Enough! Bev says, kissing the back of my hand. I took a piss and rushed out here so I could see the sun rise haven't even washed my face yet for God's sakes, Bull.

You doubt my perception?

It is my life's work to doubt your perceptions apparently but I love what I do – now take me in the shower then take me to breakfast I'm hungry this morning for some reason.
* * * * *

We hold hands walking up to Anita's Place and I feel very happy the morning is clear and not too hot and we have an invite to go snorkeling off a guys yacht. He's either the nicest guy in the world or else a front for some Mexican Mafia I'm not certain yet so this outing will be fun and hopefully informative.

It's easy to kill one bird with one stone, I always say, shoot for killing two birds with one stone. Why fuck around, right – I mean life's too short?

Hey Babe I was thinking what about adopting children - I would be a great dad and you would be a great mom.

Bev says, you would be a terrible dad, Bull that's out of the question – volunteer at the school with the kids maybe? I've already been a Mom, thank you very much.

I'm afraid to do that volunteer with the kiddies deal because one of the little buggers might claim I touched em in the bad place just to fuck with me.

What? Why on earth would a child do that?

O Bev I wished I lived in your world of rainbows and unicorns Jesus kids are little monsters I think I read that in Psychology Today. Have to think ahead, you know that, calculate those unlikely and often unseemly potentialities. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it. Give me credit remember when I was talking about how an airplane engine could fall out of the sky and crush someone then we saw it on the news, right?

I see it coming, Bev, it's a gift and a curse, what can I say?

You know Bull for someone who claims to have never felt fear, you sure are paranoid – you ever think about that?

You mean paranoia IS fear? Damn, I turn that around in my mind as we get to Anita's? I just learned something about myself here that I've been terrified my whole life. It was a real moment of realization for me rare thing these days.

Thank you, Beverly, you taught me something about myself.

Don't thank me, it's what I do. Welcome to the human race, Bev says. Damn I'm hungry.