My editor called couple months ago from our home planet and said that he needed me to cover the presidential election cycle in the USA - after spewing coffee out my nose (hate it when that happens!) I said, "I'd rather blow a goat".
My editor responds dryly, "you use that phrase a lot".
I insist, "No way. No How. Never Happen. Don't know why you bothered to ask."
After a moments reflection, let me say that I'd rather blow my brains out than cover this earth farce that they most euphemistically call an election especially in the US of A, of all places.
"Just ain't gonna happen, Boss."
Boss sighs knowing now that it ain't happening - "Listen," he says, "you're being an asshole because you know I can't afford to bring you back and replace you."
"Look," I assert, "I'm off to Fiji to interview Michael Franti as per our original contract to for me to cover earth music and art scene. The fact that you can't find anyone to cover this clusterfuck of the dominant nation state's election cycle is your problem, not mine, that's how I see it. Earth conditions require one to 'go with the flow' here, as they say. You would most definitely not understand. So that's what I'm gonna do".
"You are one sorry excuse for a journali - "
CLICK!
Damn, The 24 hour days here are just too short for that kind of negativity in my life, man. You know? I should add that the last three reporters who were assigned to cover the dominant nation's election cycle all threw themselves in front of a truck one after having gouged out his own eyes with his thumbs. While we are humanoid and and pass for humans on superficial examination, our tolerance threshold for BS is apparently set far below the level of you earth humans.
No comments:
Post a Comment